It's about you again. You, you, you. I can't help it but I'm going to blog about you. Again.

I've been very patient with you. Like seriously. Yeah, indeed, I said in my previous post that, "You've gone so far. Way too far." But to my surprise, you've gone so much further than "Way too far."

I've run out of words describing my feelings about you've done. You are just not empathetic. You are just there to put me down everyday. You are just one lady who just don't know how to respect others. Please, I have my dignity and so, I have the right to stand up against you. I have to protect my dignity. If I myself don't, who will? Nobody.

Who do you think are you? Spurting out vulgarities, coarse language and insensitive words. I don't even simply bother to care if you like to say those kind of language. I don't even want to know about how much more vulgurities you want to spew out in a day. But, right here right now, I care. I do care! (Oh Syafinah, why do you even want to care?) Let me tell you why. Cause all the vulgarities is about me. To you, even putting my name at your blog is a vulgarity. To add on, you put the blame on me for making you to just burst out all those words in your blog. Oh please, listen here babe. It's your own choice if you say what you want. And your emotions are within your own control. So don't ever blame anyone for the actions you've taken.

Come on, grow up girl. And indeed, you're older than me. So I guess you're sensible enough to reflect about what has happened. Do a self-reflection about yourself? Putting yourself in other people's shoes? Yeah, you should do that. For your own good. As well as for my own good too.

You think I'm angry? No, I'm not. I'm just sad. Terribly sad. Cause there are such people like you. Who don't even think proper. Who don't even know what you're talking about. Who don't even understand your ownself.

p.s Girl, do you have conflicts within yourself? It seems like. So yeah, please settle it fast so that you won't affect other people. Thanks for everything.

It's almost 3am. I should have gone to sleep by now but my eyes just won't shut. I want to sleep but I can't. This moment, I feel so restless. Disturbed. Stressed. Pissed. And with all the other negative feelings that eventually make up a major sucky feeling in me. Somehow, I feel weak, so weak that i crumble. Again.

Girl, I don't know you and you don't know me. Why in the world you suddenly enter my life and try your best to make me suffer? I certainly know the reason why. But, you're not giving me any justice. Please. I don't want to make a fuss out of this whole thing. I'm willing to forgive you if you realize that what's happening between us is not at all worth it. Maybe it's part of my fault too, to just shoot back at you and to stand up for my own rights. And, I will apologize to you since I'm also in the wrong. But you've provoked me. You started it first. When you indeed provoked me, things won't be sweet. I've been patient with you all this while, trying to suppress everything. You've tested me. But this time, you've gone so far. Way too far.

You think I don't know your blog? Oh yes, I do.

You think I don't know everything of what has happened? Oh yes, I do.

But I don't know that you have the heart to put all those things about me in your blog. For your info, I won't dirty my blog with those kinds of words, just like what u did to your blog. You're the one who put words into my mouth. Yeah, I do feel angry. But surprisingly, sadness grips me more. Cause I know, you hate me girl. And that's a fact I must accept. But can't deny, it sucks to be hated.

Girl, you may hate me all you want. But I won't hate you. It's just not right. I don't know how much longer this conflict will be. Certainly, I want this to be settled quick and hope all the parties involved wouldn't bear a grudge towards one another. Cause, this thing takes away too much of my time and attention till so many things get affected. I don't want to live in this state anymore.

Hmm, do you believe in giving a second chance?
Oh okay, maybe giving more than two chances. Three, four or five chances? I don't know.

Giving all that chances to that one same person.

As if you don't mind giving that person all the chances in the world.

Okay, let's give a name to "that person". Maybe, Ali? Yeah, now will be much easier for me to refer to that person.

Maybe the questions right now should be,

Lastly, "Has Ali given you any chances?" That's the main question.

I believe in giving people second chances. Nevertheless, sometimes, not giving a chance to someone will means giving a chance for him/her to realize and change for the better. When he/she changes for the better, only then you can give yourself a chance to give that person a chance. You know what i mean?

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Tiga Malam Tanpa Bintang (Fiq)

Kasih.. maafkan diriku
Banyak dosaku padamu
Tidak terhitung jari jemari daku
Tak dapat dibilang bagai bintang beribu
Sukarnya diriku menebus kekhilafan yang lalu

Kasih.. engkau tak bersalah
Hanya hatiku yang buta
Tulus dan ikhlas kau korban jiwa raga
Dan tanpa belas ku buat kau kecewa
Ku tahu dirimu sukar melupakan segalanya

Tiga malam tanpa bintang
Dan diriku dihimpit penyesalan
Arah tuju kian fana
Kerna hilangnya manira
Bagaikan siang diselubung gerhana

Kembalikan senda tawa
Pulangkanlah manis disenyum manja
Ku pahatkan keinsafan
Dan patrikan kesetiaan
Sehingga nadi menafikan nyawa

Kasih.. maafkan diriku
Banyak dosaku padamu
Tidak terhitung jari jemari daku
Tak dapat dibilang bagai bintang beribu
Sukarnya diriku menebus kekhilafan yang lalu

Kasih.. engkau tak bersalah
Hanya hatiku yang buta
Tulus dan ikhlas kau korban jiwa raga
Dan tanpa belas ku buat kau kecewa
Ku tahu dirimu sukar melupakan segalanya
Kasih…

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This is my blog. Not a new one, but I just decided to revive this blog. This blog has been dead for like, 2 years plus? Haha. So yeah, this is Syafinah's blog.(: (Shaz oh Shaz! I've got a blog now. Happy, makcik? So like you said, I need a blog to vent all my feelings, right? Kinda true. Haha.)


Hmm, the past week had never been good for me. It was my MST (Mid-Semestral Test) week. 5 subjects; everyday straight from Monday to Friday. Like pffft. And yeah, MST's finally over. Alhamdulillah! (Tapi kan, mcm tak confident pulak seh. Alamak.)


It was not only about MST that made me feel so down, down in the dumps i tell you. There were so many things happening at the wrong time. You'd know, all the conflicts and problems, conflicts within myself which in the end, affected my family at the same time. And guess what, I looked so troubled yesterday. I was eating my chicken rice, looking half-dead. Suddenly, my dad said to me,"Bapak tgk kau mcm ade masalah je. Kau okay ke tak?" Basically, my dad asked me whether I'm okay or not. I was shocked cause it was really rare for him to ask me that. But I just gave him a shrug and said, "I'm okay." Then, I gave my unfinished chicken rice to my siblings. Seriously, no appetite. Nevertheless, Bapak, thnks for caring for me.(:


To whom-it-concern; Girl, seriously, you pissed me off. And boy, thnks for everything. You tried to play a game without me knowing, didn't you? But, I'm not naive as you think I am. For your info, I've been playing along with your dirty secret game. Yeah, I know everything. Every single thing. Don't deny please. Semoge korang sedar ape yg korang buat. AMIN!


p.s This is my first post.(: And do tag yeah. Thank you thank youuu! :D